Daughter Dearest
by theincrediblyinsaneiz
Summary: 12 years ago, Captain Jack Sparrow had a daughter. She accompanies him on his many travels, trying to keep her life together as she is pulled along on his adventures. T for violence and some slight language
1. Chapter 1

**Hellllllllloooooooo people! Ok, so this is my first PotC FanFic.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing! Except for Keaton. She's mine!**

Our greatest adventure started the day me and dad docked in a place called Port Royal. We were sail in dad's…ship. No, not a ship. A boat. Actually, more like a half sunken piece of wood. Pretty pathetic right? Anyways, we were approaching the docks of Port Royal.

"We're almost there darling! Start bailing, the ship'd be sinking." He flashed me a smile and threw a bucket at me, nearly taking my head off.

"Why cant you do it?" I argued, "It's your boat anyway." He glared at me for calling it a boat.

"I've my respects to pay." He responded saluting the three pirate skeletons hanging from a rock, nooses around their necks. _PIRATES YE BE WARNED_ a sign stated. I feel so welcomed. Dad told me to keep bailing as the boat was halfway filled with water.

As we passed through the port, sailors and fisherman stared. I was sure we were an odd sight. Dad and I were both standing on top of the mast, which was now about 3 feet above water, and still sinking. Dad extended his leg stepping on to the edge of the dock. I was not so lucky. I decided it would be more fun to jump onto the docks. Well, as usual, luck was not with me. I ended up teetering on the edge of the dock, and then fell in the water. Dad pulled me up and out of the water as I grumbled, squeezing the water from my dirty tunic. My curly brown hair was plastered to my head, along with a bandana and my tan skin sparkled like diamonds.

"What? Hey! Hold up there you! It's a shilling to tie up your boat at the dock", a chubby man in glasses called to us. I glanced back at our boat which was now half the mast and a flag. I wouldn't exactly call it 'tied up'. "And I shall need to know your names."

"What d'ya say to three shilling and we forget the name?" dad replied, placing three shillings in the harbourmaster's hand.

"Welcome to Port Royal Mr. Smith and …uh.." he paused to glance at my boys clothes in disgust. I smiled cheerily back at him. "…young Miss Smith." My leather boots squelched as we walked away. Dad stole the harbourmasters bag of coins. _SQUELCH. SQUELCH. SQUELCH. SQUEL-_

"So Dad, why are we here again?"

"We need a ship, darling. We're going to commandeer a big one." Big ship? I liked big ships! We trudged along toward the secluded docks where the big ships (yay!) were kept, when we were stopped by two redcoats.

"This dock is off limits to civilians." The first one spoke. Well good thing I wasn't a civilian.

"I'm terribly sorry," Dad started, "I didn't know if I see one I shall inform you immediately." He tried to step forward but was blocked again. "Apparently there's some sort of high toned and fancy do up at the fort eh?" Dad continued. "How could it be that two upstanding gentlemen such as yourselves did not manage to merit an invitation?" Captain Jack Sparrow, always a way with words.

"Someone has to make sure this dock stays off limits to civilians." Man, what did these two have against civilians? Eh, it wasn't my concern, seeing as I wasn't one. If I was, I would be wearing a dress. And that's not physically possible.

"It's a fine goal to be sure, but it seems to me that a ship like that", said Dad gesturing to a big ship near the cliffs, "makes this one here a bit superfluous really." Again with the fancy words! My 12 year old brain couldn't comprehend them.

The two guards relaxed slightly. "Oh the _Dauntless _is the power in these waters, true enough, but there's no ship that can match the _Interceptor _for speed."

It was no doubt in my mind that Dad was up to something. As usual, I had no idea what it was. Instead of frying my brain on it, I just watched as Dad made conversation with these idiots.

"I've heard of one," Dad said, "supposed to be very fast. Nigh un-catchable. The Black Pearl."

Then Mullroy and Murtogg(as I found out their names) started to argue, entertaining me very well I must say.

"Well, there's no real ship that can match the _Interceptor_."

"The Black Pearl is a real ship." Mullroy argued.

"No, it's not."

"Yes it is. I've seen it!"

"You've seen it?"

"Yes."

"You haven't seen it."

"Yes, I have."

"You've seen a ship with black sails, that's crewed by the damned and captained by a man so evil that hell itself spat him back out?"

"No."

"No."

"But I have seen a ship with black sails."

I rolled my eyes. I could fire a shot right now and neither of them would notice. Dad and I slipped away from the two idiots. The two redcoats were so wrapped up in their argument that they didn't notice Dad and I climbing abord the ship. Dad stroked the wheel, getting him finally noticed by Murtogg and Mullroy.

"Hey! You! Get away from there!" They shouted pointing their bayonets at Dad.

"You don't have permission to be aboard there, mate!"

"I'm sorry! It's just such a pretty boat- ship." Said Dad.

"What's-What's your name?"

"Smith." Dad responded, "Or Smithy if you like."

"And her?" asked Mullroy.

"Daughter."

"And why is she not wearing a dress?"

"Enough with the questions!" I insisted.

"What's your business in Port Royal?" What am I invisible or something?

"Yeah, and no lies."

"Well then, I must confess, it is my intention to commandeer one of these ships, pick up a crew in Tortuga, raid, pillage, plunder and otherwise pilfer my weasely black guts out." Dad responded simply.

"And I, Keaton Sparrow intend to do the same. Along with drinking some rum. Lots of rum." Woopsies! Probably shouldn't have said my name.

"I said no lies!" they took a step towards Dad.

"I think he's telling the truth…."

"If he were telling the truth, he wouldn't have told us."

"Unless of course, he knew you wouldn't believe the truth even if he told it to you." Dad smiled slyly.

**Whooo! (wipes sweat off forehead) 3 pages, 1063 words. I probably wont be able to update much cause it's almost THANKSGIVING!**

**HAPPY ALMOST TURKEY DAY!**

**-theincrediblyinsaneiz or just IZ**


	2. Chapter 2

**I'm baaaaaack! Did you miss me? Anyways, here's the second chapter. Thank you to:**

**Hechu _first reviewer! Yay!**

**Kaliyugah_for adding my story to your favorites list!**

**Jocasta3009_for adding my story to subscriptions!**

**You guys made me smile! On with the story!**

**Disclaimer: me no own**

"And then they made me their chief..." Dad's statement dragged me back into the present. Murtogg and Mullroy were conversing with Dad, about what, I had no clue. They seemed to be getting along now that the arguments had ended.

_SPLASH!_

"DAD!" now, you need to know that this is very out of character for me. Truthfully I couldn't care less about whoever fell in the water. But if more red coats, smarter ones than the two blubbering idiots we were talking to, came, we would be arrested and Dad and I would end up in the brig. Or worse, I would end up in a dress. I shuddered at the thought.

"Will you be saving her then?" Dad asked Mullroy.

"I can't swim." Dad glanced at Murtogg who shook his head fearfully.

"Pride of the King's Navy you are. Do NOT loose these." He handed Mullroy and Murtogg his effects and dived over the edge of the boat. I really didn't want to get wet again today so I decided to stay on the docked ship. Suddenly, a huge ripple reverberated from the spot where the girl had landed.

"What was that?" Murtogg and Mullroy's eyes were wide with fear. Wimps. Dad surfaced, spluttering, with the girl slung over his shoulder.

"Ooh, I've got her. She's not breathing!" Murtogg panicked.

"Yay! Let's shoot her!" I cried with glee bouncing up and down.

"NO!" Mullroy looked at me in horror as I frowned.

"Move!" Dad pushed us out of the way and split open the girl's corset. She gasped coughing up water, her eyes wide.

"I never would have thought of that." Mullroy said in astonishment.

"Clearly you've never been to Singapore." Yikes. I remember that only too well. I haven't trusted pillows since.

The girl looked all prissy and high up. Around her neck was a…..pirate medallion? Where would she get that?

"Where did you get that?" Dad asked reading my mind. The girl didn't have time to answer, 'cause in the time span of about 2 seconds she was suddenly hauled to her feet, and a sword was at dad's throat. Oh joy. I looked up at the owner of the sword….and started giggling hysterically. The guy was wearing this funny white wig that curled by his ears. I glanced around. ALL of them had the wigs, which only made me laugh harder.

"On your feet!" the first wig-man shouted at Dad, rolling his eyes in my direction. He probably thought I was crazy. Oh well, I probably am.

"Elizabeth! Are you alright?" The man who had helped up the girl asked. I had started to calm down by this point, but all it took was one look at him for me to start laughing again. He had this huge curly gray wig on. It looked like fake, old lady hair.

"Yes, I'm fine." the girl-Elizabeth-gasped. Melodramatic much? All the attention was suddenly focused on poor, stupid Murtogg who was holding Elizabeth's corset. He quickly pointed at Dad.

"Shoot him!"said who must have been Elizabeth's father.

"Father!" yep I was right. "Commodore, do you really intend to kill my rescuer….and this young person?" Elizabeth protested. Great, I went from possible shooter, to crazy hysterical giggler, and apparently I'm now 'this young person'. What am I gonna be next, an elephant?

The commodore, looking slightly exasperated sheathed his sword and extended his hand.

"I believe thanks are in order." I didn't think Dad would actually be stupid enough to shake his hand. But somehow, Dad always manages to surprise me. Dad grasped Mr. Commodore Wig-Man's hand. The commodore yanked up Dad's sleeve, revealing his pirate brand. I shivered. I had one too, and it had been almost as bad as wearing a dress.

"Had a brush in with the East India Trading Company did we, pirate?"

"Hang him." Elizabeth's father said his face pale.

"Keep your guns on him men. Gillette, fetch some irons." The Commodore ordered, as Gillette scampered off.

"And the girl, Sir?" one of them asked.

"Hmm." The Commodore thought out loud. "I suppose since she is a child we can teach her to change her ways. Put her in the governors household, have her work as a maid. And get her something suitable to wear." Okay. One second for comprehension. Governor's house = maids. Maids = cleaning. Cleaning = suitable wear. Suitable wear = dresses. Dresses + Me = the explosion of the world. My eyes widened and my face took on a mask of pure rage. NO ONE threatens me with dresses. NO ONE. Before I could call the Commodore a couple (a lot) of colorful (reaaaaaaalllly bad) names, he interrupted, rolling up Dad's sleeve again.

"Well, well?" The Commodore said upon seeing Dad's tattoo of a sparrow, "Jack Sparrow isn't it?" Uh oh for the Commodore. He forgot the 'Captain' part of Dad's name. I could tell Dad was holding himself back.

"Captain Jack Sparrow if you please sir."

"Well, I don't see your ship, Captain." Well _duh._ I don't think anyone would be able to tell that the 3 feet of mast sticking up from the water near the docks was our 'ship'.

"I'm in the market, as it were." True, true.

"He said he'd come to commandeer one." Murtogg said excitedly; glad to have some information to provide. Idiot.

"I told ya he was telling the truth! These are his, Sir." Mullroy added his unwanted contribution to the conversation, handing Dad's stuff to the Commodore. The other men started de-weaponing me as the Commodore inspected Dad's effects. In a matter of seconds, my sword, pistol, and bandana were gone. At least I still had my knife inside my boot – wait never mind. They took that too. I was gonna kill these (insert swear word of choice here).

I was pulled out of my murderous thoughts by a scream. Ah, Dad was up to his little tricks again. His chains were around Elizabeth's throat, nearly choking her.

"No! Don't shoot!" shouted her father desperately.

"I knew you'd warm up to me!" Dad sounded cheerily. "Commodore Norrington, my effects please, and my hat." When did Dad learn the Commodore's name?

"Commodore!" The Commodore handed Dad's effects to Elizabeth, who was still in Dad's chains. "Elizabeth. It is Elizabeth isn't it?" Dad asked her.

"It's Miss Swann" replied Elizabeth scathingly.

Dad spoke to her quietly, and she angrily strapped on his sword and slammed his hat onto his head.

"Blacksmiths." Was the only word he whispered to me as he slunk backwards.

"You will always remember today as the day you almost caught Captain Jack Sparrow." Dad shoved Elizabeth back towards her father, slamming his foot down on a lever that sent him swinging around over our heads.

"OPEN FIRE!" the Commodore shouted as his men fired their bayonets at Dad, while Murtogg and Mullroy held me back from following. Now, I'm a strong kid. Like, really strong. But the two idiots had shoved me on the ground, their bayonets pointed at me. So, I decided that I could deal with the dirt for now. Miraculously, Dad managed to find his balance on a large beam. He slid down the rope, and dropped off at the end running at top speed his hands still chained. How he managed to do it, I had no idea. As the stupid excuses for soldiers (along with Murtogg and Mullroy) chased after Dad, I snuck away. Now, off to find the blacksmiths.

**Jeez, 1291 words! Yay I feel accomplished! Don't know if I'll be able to update tomorrow considering that tomorrow is TURKEY DAY!**

**HAPPY ALMOST TURKEY DAY!**

**IZ**


	3. Chapter 3

**Thanks to**

**Hechu- you reviewed! You'll find out what she thinks of Will soon….**

**Twiheartlover- you favorite my story! Thanks!**

**Disclaimer: me no own. **

I trudged through Port Royal looking for the blacksmiths. When I finally found it and walked inside, I nearly ran back out. Sitting in a chair was a big pudgy man. I let out a sigh of relief when I realized he was passed out cold with a bottle of something or other in his hand._ Ooh! Maybe it's rum. _I thought to myself. I tugged the bottle from his hand and gingerly took a swig. I nearly chocked, and spit back out, all over the man. It was beer! Ugh!

That was when Dad came barging in.

"Oh hello darling. You got here quick." He said. "Now….who's that?" he asked gesturing to the man as well as he could with his chained hands. I shrugged. So of course, Dad being Dad walked right up to the man and poked him. I rolled my eyes. Dad turned, pretending to walk away, but spun back around and shouted "WOAH!"

The man didn't move.

"Now, time to get out of these." Dad muttered. He took a hammer and started banging on his chains. Unfortunately for him, it failed. He then eyed the donkey in the corner. My eyes widened as he took a burning prodder out of the fire.

"No Dad, you can't – "Dad touched the burning metal to the poor donkey's hide. It brayed and quickly started walking, causing the huge wheels above it to turn. Dad hung from his chains on the lowest wheel. _SNAP! _His chains broke. The door creaked open, and sadly, this time it wasn't Dad coming through the door. Dad and I scrambled to find a hiding place as the man walked through the door.

The guy's curly brown hair was tied back in a ponytail. His dark brown eyes took on a troubled look as he spotted the donkey still turning the wheels. He calmed it down, petting its muzzle. Glancing over at the man in the chair, he smiled.

"Right where I left you." He said. Just then did he seem to notice that the hammer had magically moved from its original spot.

"_Not _where I left you..." he stared confusedly at the hammer for a minute before he spotted Dad's hat. He reached out for it. Now, let's take a minute for me to explain something. Nobody touches Dad's hat. Ever. The man stopped when Dad placed his sword on top of the man's hand.

"You're the one their hunting." Well duh. Why else would we be hiding in the barrels of a blacksmith's shop? "The pirate." I just realized that he was only talking to Dad. Hello? Was I just completely invisible? I decided to make myself known.

"Yep. We're the one's their hunting. So, I suggest you let us go before Dad ends up in the brig, and I end up in a dress, which will be the end of the world." I was ignored. Again.

Dad stared at the man. "You seem somewhat familiar. Have I threatened you before?"

"I make a point of avoiding familiarity with pirates." The gut spat scathingly. I think I'm going to call him Mad-Blacksmith-With-A-Ponytail. Or MBWAP.

"Ah well, it would be a shame to put a black mark on your record. So if you'll excuse me." Dad tried to slink past. MBWAP grabbed a sword pointing it at Dad. Oh joy, we're gonna be here for a while.

"Do you think it's wise to be crossing blades with a pirate boy?" Dad taunted him.

"You threatened Miss Swann!" yelled MBWAP. Wow, news travels fast around here!"

"Actually, it was more of an act of fairness, Dad saved her life, and she saved his. They're even." I concluded. MBWAP looked back and forth between me and Dad.

"Your daughter doesn't look like you." MBWAP said to Dad. I rolled my eyes, that's what they all say. The only resemblance between us is the tan skin. Besides that, I look nothing like Dad. My hair is brown, with red and blonde streaks, and extremely curly. My eyes are almond shaped, a bluish-green color. Dad says I get all my looks from my mother, who is, unfortunately, dead.

"Mother's looks." Dad responded to MBWAP. "And as she said, I was only balancing the scales." I tuned them out as they paraded, Dad testing MBWAP's ability with a sword. Bored, I walked toward the tons of swords that filled the room. I tested a couple in my hands, until I found one with the right weight. It was about 3 feet long, silver, and the handle inlaid with gold.

"And if I step here… Very good. Now I step again…Ta." I watched as Dad finished his little lesson with MBWAP. I smirked. Time to go. I followed Dad towards the door, giving a smug smile to MBWAP. No one could beat Dad. Suddenly, a sword whizzed past my head and stuck itself in the door, an inch from Dad's head. I turned back around and raised an eyebrow. I had to hand it to MBWAP. The guy had nice aim. But not perfect. I was confident of this, until I realized his plan was not to impale Dad's head, but to stick the door close. Dad tried pulling out the sword.

He turned to MBWAP in defeat. "That is a wonderful trick, but once again, you are between me and my way out. And now you have no weapon." Dad stated cleverly. MBWAP snatched a sword out of the fire, its blade tipped with a glowing orange from the heat. And so, the fight began again.

I thought about my friends, Faryn and Athena, wondering when I was going to see them again. By the time I was pulled out of my thoughts, MBWAP was staring cross-eyed down the edge of Dad's pistol, his face covered in brown soot. Lucky, Dad still had his effects.

"Move away." Dad commanded. Someone was banging at the door. I prayed it was just a very angry mail-man and not the wig men.

"No." MBWAP refused stubbornly. I really needed a new name for him.

"Please move?" Dad must be desperate. He never says please.

"No! I cannot just step aside and let you escape!" He'd better step aside or I'd knock him out with the hilt of my new sword.

"This shot isn't meant for you." Dad sighed. Right before he pulled the trigger there was a CRACK! And Dad fainted to the floor. Standing behind him was the originally asleep drunken man, with a cracked bottle in his hands.

I was smashed to the floor as the wig men burst through the door, five of them pinning me to the ground. Man, this was the second time today. Couldn't they give a girl a break?

"There he is! Over there!" one of the wig men cried out.

"Excellent work Mr. Brown, you have assisted in the capture of a dangerous fugitive." The Commodore thanked the drunken man, apparently named Mr. Brown. "And, a new maid for the governor's household." He smiled smugly at me.

I opened my mouth for some snide, snarky remark, but was whacked on the head by one of the wig men.

"I like mangos." I heard myself say dizzily, before everything faded into blackness.

**Whoop whoop! Another chapter! I can't believe I actually updated! I'm usually not so committed to things! Hope you all had a yummy TURKEY DAY! I did. Don't know how soon I'll be able to update, considering I have to go back to school. Ugh! Hopefully I won't have too much homework. I might be able to update once more this weekend, but from then on, I'll probably only be able to update on weekends. But I promise I will continue this story! I actually kinda like it. Ok, hope you enjoyed the chapter!**

** BUY A FISH**

** MAKE A PIE **

** AND BITE A SHOE!**

**IZ**


	4. Chapter 4

**Thanks to**

**Hechu- you always review!**

**M- you reviewed! Yay! And don't worry, I will try to keep it up!**

**LaraMistyMarie – you added my story to favorites! Thanks!**

**You guys make me more happy than a bird with a french fry!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own, and probably never will. But if I did…..mwahahahaha! *rubs hands together evilly and runs away with your chocolate bar***

**Onto the story!**

**Oh and if anyone doesn't know I changed Athena's name to Marmalade.**

The End of the World

I woke up on something soft, which is extremely unusual for me. My long, black eyelashes fluttered as I tried to stay awake. My head was pounding like it had been stomped on by an elephant. With my life, I really wouldn't be surprised if that were true. _Where the hell am I? _was my first thought. I glanced around the room. I remembered the Commodore's smug smile. _A new maid for the governor's household…._ Holy (insert swear word of choice here). While Dad had been thrown in the brig, I had been made into a maid. I bolted out of the warm bed, rushing to the body length mirror. My long, ratty hair had been washed and brushed and now hung in glossy curls down my back. My tan skin had been rubbed of any dirt or grime. All in all, it wasn't so bad. That was when I noticed that I Keaton Sparrow, had been put in a dress No frickin' way. And so, I did the only thing I thought reasonable to do. I screamed BLOODY MURDER.

"WHO IN GOD'S NAME PUT ME IN A DRESS? I SWEAR, I WILL KILL YOU! I WILL KILL ANYONE WHO SPEAKS THE WORD 'DRESS'! I WILL KILL ANYONE WHO THINKS THE WORD 'DRESS'! I WILL KILL ALL OF YOU!" that was when I noticed that I was alone in the room. It's sad how stupid I am sometimes.

"What the bloody hell was that?" I heard someone ask.

"I heard it from 2 floors away!" another exclaimed. Someone came down the stairs.

"I'm Estrella, welcome to the governor's home." She gave me a fake smile and dragged me up the stairs.

"Pirates daughter…"I heard people whisper.

"Rabid wild beast…"

"Estrella?" I said loud enough for everyone to hear, "Do you know who put me in a dress?"

"No." she responded confused, "Why?"

"'Cause I'm gonna kill 'em." The people listening gasped and hurried away.

"You do not speak that way young lady!" Estrella scolded, slapping me. So, I slapped her right back. She gasped.

"You do not slap me! I am your elder!" she commanded grabbing my wrist and pulling me along, up the stairs.

"You will serve Elizabeth for today; we'll find you a more permanent job tomorrow." She instructed. I smirked, no way was I gonna serve some prissy high-up. But, until I came up with an escape plan, I needed to start acting like a real maid.

I sighed "Fine, show me her room." Estrella's eyes widened, probably thinking it was a miracle that I was actually cooperating. She dragged me along until we stopped at a room with two large, mahogany doors.

"Treat her with respect." Estrella hissed to me. I ignored her and barged straight through the doors.

"Wouldn't it be more polite to knock?" the Elizabeth girl asked. Control yourself Keaton Sparrow, and do not break her nose.

"Yes ma'am. I'm sorry ma'am." I responded quickly. I looked more closely at her. She was the girl Dad had saved! When not spluttering like a fish, she was actually quite pretty. Curly carmel colored hair and brown eyes. Pretty, posh, prissy and pampered. I hated people like that.

"You where the girl from earlier!" she gasped in shock, "The pirate's daughter!" her chocolate eyes looked eagerly into my blue-green ones. "It must be so exciting!" she nearly squealed. I am seriously questioning this girl's sanity right now. Most people would be running and screaming. I just shrugged in response.

"Well," she said her face turning hard and cold, "If you don't want to tell me what it's like…." She trailed off waiting for me to fall at her feet and tell her everything about being a pirate.

I shrugged again.

"Nope, there's really nothing to tell." I popped the 'p' in nope. She sighed.

"Why don't you like me?" she asked.

"I do like you." Lie.

"It seems like you don't."

"I do." Lie.

"But –"Elizabeth was cut off by the sound of a cannon in the distance. She bolted from the room and down the stairs, I followed, whining about my dress the whole way. A knocking sound came from the door and the butler walked to answer it.

"DON'T!" Elizabeth cried to him, just a moment too late.

"Hello chum." Pintel said cheerfully. _BANG! _Bye bye butler.

"Up there!" he pointed towards Elizabeth. I dashed down the stairs.

"Pintel! Ragetti!" I yelled.

"Keaton Sparrow. Never thought I would 'a seen the likes of you in a dress."

"Never thought you could become uglier. But I guess we're all wrong sometimes." I responded.

"And I never thought I'd see you again after we marooned you with your father on that tiny speck of land. Now move aside. We've business to take care of."

"Oh yes we do." I said cracking my knuckles menacingly. Ragetti rolled his eyes and pushed past me. It was kinda freaky seeing his wooden eyeball roll around his head. They started walking up the stairs towards where Elizabeth had been. Now, what I did next was in no way an act of compassion for Elizabeth. I was just extremely tired of being ignored. So, I grabbed Ragetti around the neck and held on for dear life. Not that my life was very dear, but ya know.

"Pintel, Pintel! She's on me! GET 'ER OFF! GET 'ER OFF!" Ragetti shouted as Pintel struggled to pull me off. Pintel finally managed to flip me off Ragetti. During our little fight fest, Ragetti had lost his wooden eye. I swung my foot around blindly, catching him in the face as he scoured the ground for it. Pintel smirked.

"Ya hit the wrong eye dear." He started laughing at my angered face. Well, he wasn't laughing for long. Let's just say I kicked him, hard, where a man really wouldn't want to be kicked. I pretended to dust my hands off. My work here was done. Almost. I raced down the stairs, leaving Pintel moaning on the floor and Ragetti still searching for his eyeball. I barged into the room I had originally woken up in and raced towards the hamper in the corner. In it, I found my dirty tunic, baggy pants and leather boots. I stripped off the horrid dress as quickly as I could and slipped into my old cloths. Ahhh, much more comfortable. Sadly, my new sword was not there.

I walked back out of the room and traipsed through the doors, into the cool night air. Now, I needed to find the brig and inform him that the _Black Pearl _was here, if he didn't know already. It was time we had our revenge.

**Yay! Chapter four done! I feel so accomplished!** **I probably won't be able to update until next weekend. but if I can get in one more chapter this week, I promise I will! Ok, thanks to all readers, you people make me happy!**

**Things you should do this week:**

**SPLATTER PAINT YOUR BEST FRIEND**

**EAT YOUR CELL PHONE**

**AND POKE SOMETHING DEAD WITH A STICK**

**IZ**


	5. Chapter 5

**Me: Hellllllllooooooo! Im back, aren't you so happy**

**Keaton: No, you scare everyone, even me and I'm a cyber copy of you!**

**Me: Shut it Keaton. Nobody asked for your input.**

**Keaton: yeah well noboby asked for your stupidness. Look how that turned out.**

**Me: You are me! So technically you just insulted yourself! Anyways, 5****th**** chapter! I'm so excited!**

**Keaton: I'm not.**

**Me: Keaton! If you don't shut up right now I will make you wear a dress in the next chapter!**

**Keaton: shutting up!**

**Me: okay, thaks to:**

**Hechu- you review regularly and I love you for that! And being loved by me is an amazing feat because I am just that amazing! Just kidding! You're the amazing one!**

**Craxymissowltrainperry- thanks for the review!**

**M ()- you reviewed!**

**WingedandWacky! You reviewed, favorited, and followed! Thanks!**

**ShadowCat98 – you reviewed, favorite and followed! Thanks! Thank you for calling me funny and insane. Another word that could describe me is psychopath.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own. Most likely never will. Ah well, win some, loose some.**

**On with the story!**

I wandered through Port Royal for a while, trying to find the brig. I waded through the masses of screaming people and flaming chunks of wood. I actually think I have developed the power to be invisible. Seriously, no one looked at me the entire time, not even the crew of the _Black Pearl _who I was sure would recognize me.

When I finally reached the brig, I was met with the entertaining sight of Dad trying to pick the lock of his cell with a bone.

"Oh good darling, you're here, the keys seem to have…..run off. Would you be so kind as to get them for me?" dad asked. I had a sudden image of keys developing legs as I ran after them shooting them with my pistol.

"Dad, I saw Pintel and Ragetti. They were looking for Elizabeth. And I was thinking, you know that medallion she had? Well I thought that maybe…it might be one of the… Aztec Gold pieces.'Cause I heard that Barbossa and the crew were….cursed because they stole them." Dad sighed.

"It's true," he said, "They are cursed, you just missed seeing it." My eyes widened. I missed seeing idiots being turned into the living dead? Awwww man! "But why did they not take you?"

"Pintel and Ragetti are not the best fighters."

I woke up in the morning sore and freezing from sleeping on the hard cobblestone. Dad was already up, muttering to himself about medallions and curses. I yawned, my joints popping as I stretched my arms. We suddenly heard the thundering of something coming down the stairs. I hid behind the wall, in the shadows. If it was a wig man they would put me back in a dress, and then all hell would break loose.

"You. Sparrow." I heard a voice say. I peeked around the corner.

"Oh God, it's back." I said, stepping out of the shadows. MBWAP glared at me, then turned his attention back to Dad.

"Aye," Dad stated.

"You are familiar with that ship, the _Black Pearl_?"

"I've heard of it."

"Where does the _Pearl _make berth?"

Dad looked astonished. "Where does it make berth? Have you not heard the stories? Captain Barbossa and his crew of miscreants sail from the Isla de Muerta. It's an island that cannot be found, except for those who already know where it is."

"The ships real enough. Therefore it's anchorage must be a real place. Where is it?" Well duh. Dad just told him, the Isla de Muerta.

"Why ask me?" Dad put a bored look on his face.

"Because you're a pirate." MBWAP said.

"And you want to turn pirate yourself, is that it?" dad questioned.

"Never! They took Miss Swann!"

I rolled my eyes.

"Oh so it _is _that you've found a girl!", Dad sounded strangely joyous about this, "I see. Well, if you're intending to brave all, hasten to rescue3 and win fair ladies heart, you'll have to do it alone, mate. I see no profit in it for me."

"Or me!" I stated angrily, "I am a person too you know." Dad rolled his eyes.

"I can get you out of here."

"How's that?"

"I helped build these cells. These are half pin-barrel hinges." What now? This guy obviously loved his metal. MBWAP picked up a bench, sticking it through the square spaces in between the metal bars. Okaaaaaaaaayyyyy.

"With the right leverage, and the proper application of strength, the door will lift free." He said this like he had just discovered the secret to immortality. Man, this gut was almost as crazy as me! And that's saying something!

"What's your name?" I had the urge to yell 'Mad-Blacksmith-With-A-Ponytail', but I decided the nickname was getting kind of old.

"Will Turner" he said. Hmmmm… Will Turner…. What kind of insulting nicknames could I come up with that?

"That would be short for William, I imagine. Good strong name. No doubt named after your father eh?"

"Yes" Will replied, looking at us like we were suspicious. Well we're pirates. Of _course _we're suspicious.

"Uh-huh. Well, Mr. Turner, I have changed me mind. –"

"Well I haven't changed mine!" I shouted. What were we changing our minds about again?

"I swear on the pain of death that I shall take you to the _Black Pearl _and your bonny lass." I was ignored. Again. Yep, I have concluded that I, Keaton Sparrow am completely invisible. "Do we have an accord?"

They shook hands.

"Agreed."

"Agreed, now get me out." Will lifted the door free with the bench.

"Hurry, someone will have heard that."

"Not without my effects." Dad replied, lifting them from a hook on the wall.

"And you are?" Will asked me .

"I'm your worst nightmare." I grinned at him evilly. He looked kind of scared. Ha!

"Her name's Keaton. Now lets go." Dad rushed up the stairs. Traitor.

** Sorry, this chapter is kinda short and not funny. I promise to make the next one better. This chapter was hard to write, 'cause nothing really happens. But ill start the 6****th**** one right now. Sorry if I disappointed anyone.**

**To do this weekend:**

**PUT A MUSTACHE ON YOUR MIRROR**

**BLOW UP A POTATO**

**AND TIE RIBBONS TO YOUR PANTS**

**IZ**


	6. Chapter 6

** Hiiiiiiiiiiii!**

** Disclaimer: I don't own **

**Chapter 6**

Let me just say, it was completely my idea to walk along the bottom of the ocean under a tiny boat.

"This is either madness or brilliance." Will gasped, not believing his eyes. I snorted.

"Of course it's brilliance. _I _came up with it." I heard a muffled crunch. Will had gotten his foot stuck in a lobster trap. Great. I sighed. This was extremely boring and slow work. And so I used one of my mottos: when in doubt, sing.

"Iiiiiiiii'm bored bored bored bored bored bored bored, bored bored bored bored bored bored bored. This is really boooooring! So I've decided to sing, sing sing!" Aren't I an amazing lyricist?

By the time I had repeated my song 38 times, we had reached the Dauntless.

"It's over!" Will gasped in relief. I narrowed my eyes.

"My voice isn't _that _bad."

"Your song is." he stated. So, I reasonably tried to drown him.

"Keaton." Dad said with an exasperated sigh. "We need our leverage." Whaaaaaaat? I let Will up studying him as he spluttered dramatically. Leverage. Hmmmmm…. Why was Will of all people our leverage?

The _Dauntless _was actually quite easy to board. I'm not all that surprised. If it was crewed by the wig men, any ship would be easy to board

"Everyone stay calm! We are taking over the ship!" Way to give away the plan Dad, great job.

"Aye! Avast!" Will shouted pointing his sword. The soldiers laughed like there was no tomorrow.

"This ship cannot be crewed by two men." The wig man named Gillette stated.

"Hello? I'm here too!" I shouted. Gillette raised an eyebrow and turned back to Dad.

"You'll never make it out of the bay."

"Son, I'm Captain Jack Sparrow. Savvy?" Son? This guy looked older than Dad!

"And right now, we're very annoyed." I said, smiling sweetly, Dad pointing his pistol at them.

The plan was actually quite simple. Once Norrington came up along side us to board the _Dauntless, _Dad, Will and I would just swing over to the _Interceptor._

"Search every cabin, every hold, down to the bilges." We heard Norrington order. I grabbed a rope and flew through the air, over the water, and onto the _Interceptor._

"Sailors! Back to the _Interceptor_!" Norrington bellowed in panic. But unfortunately for him, we were already sailing away.

"Thank you, Commodore, for getting us ready to make way!" Dad tipped his hat to the Commodore.

"Hasta Lavista wig people!" I called. And so, we were back on the seven seas. Sadly, the experience was ruined by Will sharpening his sword. I groaned covering my ears. He then seemed to think my groaning was a cue for him to tell us his life story.

"When I was a lad living in England, my mother raised me by herself. After she died, I came out here looking for my father."

"That's so interesting!" I squealed with mock excitement. "I grew up shooting things with my pistol and stabbing people with my sword. But I guess some people have less exciting childhoods. Oh well." I shrugged. He rolled his eyes turning back to Dad.

"My father, Will Turner. At the jail, it was only after you learned my name that you agreed to help. Since that's what I wanted, I didn't press the matter. I'm not a simpleton, Jack. You knew mu father."

"I knew 'im. Probably one of the few who knew him as William Turner. Everyone else just called Bootstrap, or Bootstrap Bill."

"Bootstrap?" Will asked sounding extremely confused. Bootstrap…I remembered that name from somewhere…

"Good man", Dad continued. "Good pirate. I swear, you look just like him."

"It's not true. He was a merchant sailor! A good, respectable man who obeyed the law!" Clearly, someone did not like pirates. He was obviously running with the wrong crowd then.

"If you hate pirates so much, I would be very happy to do you the honors of throwing you over board, so as you wouldn't have to be with them anymore!" I stated cheerfully.

"He was a bloody pirate, a scallywag!" Dad responded to Will. Will unsheathed his sword, angling it at Dad.

"Put it away, son.", Dad said, "It's not worth getting beat up again."

"You didn't beat me! You ignored the rules of engagement. In a fair fight, I'd killed you." Will said. I laughed. The words _fair _and _Jack Sparrow _were not compatable by any stretch of the imagination.

"That's not much incentive for me to fight fair then, is it?" Dad spun one of the sails, the yard hitting Will and swinging him out over the open sea.

"DROP HIM! DROP HIM! DROP HIM!" I chanted. Dad gave me a 'Look' and I just smiled at him.

"Now as long as you're just hanging there, pay attention. The only rules that really matter are these; what a man can do, and what a man can't do. For instance, you can accept that your father was a pirate and a good man, or you can't. But pirate is in your blood boy, so you'll have to square with that someday. Now me, for example, I can let you drown, but I can't bring this ship all on my ownsey, with a 12 year old girl." Oh my Mangoes! I wasn't ignored! It's a miracle! I declare today as the day Keaton Sparrow was finally recognized! Now bow down to me my minions! I was dragged out of my thoughts of world domination by Dad reeling Will back in, much to my sorrow.

"So. Can you sail under the command of a pirate? Or can you not?" Dad offered Will his sword back, kind of as a deal sealer I guess. Will took it.

"Aww!" I moaned, "Now I'm stuck with you!" Will rolled his eyes and looked back up at Dad.

"Tortuga?"

"Tortuga." Dad confirmed.

"TORTUGA!" I was finally going home. Well sorta.

**Yay! 6****th**** chapter done! This one wasn't amazing either, but whatever.**

** Hechu- you might come in in the next chapter, along with Ez!**

** Okay. Bye!**

**IZ**


	7. Chapter 7

**Me: Hola, amigos!**

**Keaton: oh joy, she's back.**

**Me: Shut up.**

**Keaton: You shut up!**

**Me: I control you! So you shut up!**

**Keaton: Not for long…. Mwahahahahaha!**

**Me: your evil laugh sucks. Anyways, here is the 7****th**** chapter. I'm so happpppppppppy! I got 16 reviews! Oh my gods.(Im a PJO freaks so gods is plural)**

**Keaton: yes, yes you are a freak**

**Me: sadly, I don't own PotC. I don't own PJO either. But I do own Keaton. And I am going to whack her with my special stick. *hits Keaton with stick* enjoy the chapter!**

Tortuga is one of the best places in the world for multiple reasons. A) My friends are here and B) some of the people are just as crazy as I am! Take Scarlett for example. Scarlett is one of Dad's ex-lovers. I really don't want to know how many others he's had. Scarlett for some apparent reason hates me. Actually now that I think about it, lots of people find me extremely annoying. I guess I have a talent for getting under people's skin.

"Scarlett!" Dad cried happily. Scarlett walked up to us and slapped Dad across the face and stomped away angrily. I shot a rude gesture towards her retreating figure. The hate Scarlett and I have for each other is still intact. "Not sure I deserved that…." Dad told Will and I. "… Giselle!" Oh great, another one.

"WHO WAS SHE!" Giselle screamed, slapping Dad, and then walked away. Dad seriously needed to get control of his love life. "I may have deserved that….."

We found Gibbs in the pigsty, reasonably. _SPLASH! _I threw bucket of water at Gibbs, and he woke up spluttering.

"Really Gibbs, my mate. Sleeping in a pigsty! You've sunk to a whole new level." I shook my head sadly while saying this.

"Curse you for breathing, you slack-jawed idiot!" Gibbs exploded, apparently not recognizing my voice yet. "Mother's love!... Jack! Keaton! You should know better than to wake a man while he's sleeping! 'Tis bad luck!" I just shrugged. I always had bad luck. This time really wouldn't make a difference.

"Ah. Fortunatly, I know how to counter bad luck." Dad said. I snorted.

"Yeah, 'cause threatening to shot an innocent person qualifies as 'countering bad luck'." I retorted. Dad narrowed his eyes at me. I narrowed mine. This kept going on until both our eyes were nearly closed. _SPLASH! _

"That was for the smell." Will said, holding an empty bucket of water. Poor Gibbs was wet again. I rolled my eyes. Will was such a priss.

Finally we reached the bar. I was starved. I hadn't eaten since…a while. It was too much math for me to do. I hopped onto the bar stool.

"Berny!" I shrieked when I saw the bartender. Berny the bar tender is one of my favorite people to annoy. "Berny, Berny, Berny!" I sang, "I'm baaaaaaack!" His eyes widened in fear when he saw me and I cackled like a maniac. Unfortunately, I had to wait another 20 minutes for my food. All the servers were too scared to look at me. I wolfed down my food in a matter of seconds and stole some other guys drink. I elbowed my way through the crowds of drunken idiots, trying to find Dad and Gibbs. I finally spotted them at a table in the corner. I dropped down, and crawled through the people's legs, tripping multiple drunks on the way. I came out gasping for breath. One guy stumbled over giggling, a bottle of rum in his hand. _Rum. _That was my only thought as I launched myself at the guy knocking him down, and swiping his bottle of rum.

"MY RUM!" he screamed, jumping back up.

"NEVER!" I yelled back, guzzling down the whole thing and then throwing the empty bottle at his head. Let's just say I don't have the best aim. It hit some lady that was giggling next to Will. He looked extremely uncomfortable. When it whizzed by and hit her head his eyes widened, looking for the thrower of the Mysterious Flying Bottle. Thankfully, the guy I had stole the rum from had promptly passed out.

"I just saved your life." I said strutting past Will, like I had meant to do the whole thing. I sat down next to Dad and Gibbs.

"Dad, I've been meaning to ask you something. You know when I was trying to drown Will? I still think you should have let me, but anyways, you said we needed him for leverage. What did you mean?"

"Ah you see, that is the child of Bootstrap Bill Turner. His only child, savvy?" I took a sip of Dad's rum. Bootstrap….Bootstrap! I remembered him now! Bootstrap was part of the _Black Pearl's_ crew before he died. I then snorted, and broke into laughter, choking on Dad's rum. Will was the only child of Bootstrap. Ha! No way. Will was too…..princessy to be the child of Bootstrap. I was still choking on the rum, when Dad slapped me across the back and the rum shot out of my mouth onto the table.

"Thanks." I spluttered, coughing.

"He is now? Leverage, says you? I think I feel a change in the wind, says I. I'll find us a crew. There's bound to be some sailors on this rock as crazy as you." Gibbs stated. "I can seriously doubt that." He added, mumbling under his breath.

"One can only hope." said Dad. "Take what you can,"

"Give nothing back." Gibbs and I chorused, as they bashed their cups. I loved our motto. I got up. It had been too long since I annoyed someone. I walked over to Will. I didn't even get a chance to speak.

"Why do you hate me?" Will asked me.

"Uh…. Do you want the one big reason that masks all the others?" he rolled his eyes, and started to walk away.

"Nevermind, I knew I wouldn't get a straight answer out of you." He said. I smiled cheekily following him.

"It's one of my many talents." I said jogging to keep up with his long strides.

"To what? Never give a straight answer?"

"Nope. To annoy people to the point of insanity."

"It's working." He replied. Heading out the door of the bar. I smiled slyly. Will had no idea what was coming for him.

**Sorry, this chapter really sucks. I hated writing this chapter, cause nothing really happens. Hopefully the next chapter will be funnier. sorry to disappoint anyone.**

**Things to do this weekend:**

** COLOR YOUR PANTS HOT PINK WITH LIME GREEN POLKA DOTS**

** THROW PENS AT PEOPLE WHO GET OUT OF THE ELEVATOR**

** AND STUB YOUR TOE ON A BAGEL.**

**Question of the week:**

** Ok, so I've always wondered, you know the game Simon Says? Well who the heck is Simon?**

**IZ**


	8. Chapter 8

**Keaton: MWahahahahaha! I have officially taken over this fanfiction! It is now under my command. Eventually, I will take over the world.**

**Me: *who is tied to a chair* Keaton, I hate to rain on your parade, but quite frankly, you are a figment of my imagination.**

**Keaton: shut up! I am in control *hits IZ with special stick***

**Me: Fortunately, Keaton doesn't own PotC. Unfortunately, I don't either. Oooo and Marmalade and Faryn are coming in in this chapter!**

When Gibbs said he'd find us a crew, I thought he meant vicious, bloody pirates. Sadly, I thought wrong. Gibbs seemed to have gathered the complete opposite.

"Feast your eyes, captain. All of them faithful hands before the mast, every man worth his salt. And is crazy to the boot."

"This is your able bodied crew?" Will questioned Dad.

"You! Sailor!"

"Cotton, sir." Gibbs provided.

"Mr. Cotton! Do you have the courage and fortitude to follow orders and stay true in the face of danger and almost certain death?" Dad intogerrated. "Mr. Cotton! Answer man!"

"He's mute sir. Poor devil had his tongue cut out, so he trained the parrot to talk for him." Gibbs pointed to the parrot on Cotton's shoulder. I smiled evilly. I had plans for that parrot. "No one's yet figured out how."

"Mr. Cotton's…. parrot. Same question."

"Wind in the sails! Wind in the sails!" the bird squawked.

"Mostly we figure that means yes." Gibbs clarified.

"Of course it does." Dad glanced back to Will. "Satisfied?"

"Well you've proved their mad." Will said, scanning the line of 'em. For once, I agreed with him.

"And what's the benefit for us?" a woman-like voice questioned. Dad slowly stalked over to the high-pitched voice's origin., stopping at a pirate with a floppy hat that hid their face. He lifted the hat revealing a woman with coffee skin and silky black hair.

"Anamaria."

_SLAP!_

I was loving this day. Dad had been slapped 3 times already.

"I suppose you didn't deserve that one either." Will deduced.

"Uh-uhn." I shook my head holding back laughter. "He _absolutely _deserved that one."

"You. Stole. My. BOAT!" Anamaria shrieked.

"Actually," _SLAP! _ Dad was going for a record here. "Borrowed, borrowed without permission." Yeah, way to define 'stealing' Dad. "But with every intention of bringing it back."

"But you DIDN'T!" I was hoping she would slap Dad again. Much to my disappointment, she didn't.

"You'll get another one!" Dad smiled hopefully.

"I WILL." Anamaria jabbed a finger at Dad.

"A better one." Will assured.

"A better one." Dad echoed.

"That one." Will, stated pointing to the _Interceptor._

"What one? That one?" Dad sighed. "Aye, that one. What say you?" Anamaria thought for a moment.

"Aye!" she shouted. The crew repeated her.

"No, no, no, no, no, it's frightful bad luck to bring a woman abord, sir." Ah, Gibbs and his superstitions.

"Well, I'm going, so what's the point of not letting her come?" I reasoned. Gibbs didn't reply, just shrugged. I'd nailed him.

A storm, started brewing as we sailed. I ran down the stairs to the hammocks, finding the stockpile of weapons. Gibbs had also scavenged around Tortuga for weapons, and pilled all the loot down here. I dug through the piles of swords finally finding one that seemed balanced. It was shiny silver, the handle blood red and inlaid with gold. I named it Twinkledeath. I grabbed a knife, stuffing it in my boot, and a new pistol, tucking it in my belt.

"Keaton!" I heard a voice whisper. I whirled around, brandishing Twinkledeath.

"Who's there?" I growled.

"Keaton it's us!" the voice whispered, this time coming from the barrels of rum. Wait a minute. I recognized that voice! I lowered Twinkledeath.

"Marmalade? Is that you?" I asked the barrels of rum. Never thought I would say that.

"Actually, it's both of us." One of my best friends Faryn popped up from behind the barrels.

"Faryn! Marmalade!" I rushed towards my friends. Don't ask how Marmalade got her name. It is a very long and confusing story involving a basket of bread, a monkey, and a large glass chandelier. I tackled them with a hug. "What are you two doing here?"

"We decided to visit you!" said Marmalade.

"What else would we be doing here?" asked Faryn.

"Well, I mean what are you doing in the rum barrels? And why are you all wet?" I'd just noticed that they were wet. And I had been hugging them. It's sad how slow I process things sometimes.

"We swam here!" Faryn responded cheerily, squeezing the water out of her long, wavy, nearly black hair.

"You swam onto the ship?" I was extremely confused.

"Well, you had just set sail, and when we tried to jump aboard, you were too far away. So we jumped in the water, grabbed a rope, and climbed through the window. We hid in the barrels so that if one of the crew came down, they wouldn't find us. Cause technically, we're stowaways." Mar explained. I smiled. I had trained them well. Okay, fine, I didn't train them, they're just smart. Happy?

"I'm going back up. I don't think Dad will be mad if he knows you're with me." I tromped up the stairs, Faryn and Mar following me. Gibbs looked horrified at the prospect of bringing more females along, when we told him.

"Aye," he agreed grudgingly to not throw them overboard. "At last, there's nothing me old self can do." Then he smiled at us, as if remembering something. I raised an eyebrow. "We're catching up." He stated.

"Catching up to who?" asked Marmalade, her straight blonde hair whipping in the stormy wind.

"The _Black Pearl _of course." I responded.

When we reached the lagoon, everyone was tense. Even the parrot. It squawked something unintelligible for the billionth time, and I threatened to shoot it if it made one more noise for the billionth time.

"Puts a chill in my bones, how many honest sailors have been claimed by this passage." Gibbs said fearfully, staring at the piles of wreckage in the water.

"How is it that Jack came by that compass?" Will asked us. I glanced at Faryn and Mar. _Tia Dalma. _We seemed to think in unison.

"Not a lot's known about Jack Sparrow before he showed up in Tortuga with a mind to go after the treasure of the Isla de Muerta. That was back when he was captain of the _Black Pearl_.

"What? He failed to mention that." Will said. I snorted more like _he _failed to be intelligent and piece it together.

"Well, he plays things closer to vest now. And a hard learned lesson it was. See, three days out on the venture, the first mate comes to him and says everything's an equal share. That should mean the location of the treasure too, so Jack gives up the bearings. That night there was a mutiny. They marooned Jack on an island-,"

"Hello!" I interrupted. "I was there too!" jeez, people are always forgetting me these days!

"Aye, and Keaton here too. They left them there to die, but not before they'd gone mad with the heat." Ok. I feel extremely insulted right now. I'm not mad from heat! I was born mad!

"Ah…So that's the reason for all the…" Will waved his hands, doing a very accurate impression of Dad. So, I punched him in the face. Or at least I tried to. He ducked. I swung again. Gibbs told us we were acting like children. Well, I was a child, so there really wasn't a reason for me to stop.

"I am a child Gibbs. Not the best choice of words." I told him. He rolled his eyes.

"Reason's got nothing to do with it. Now Will, when a man-,"

"Or a woman!" Mar, Faryn and I all interjected in unison, glaring at Gibbs

"Or a woman," he added, "gets marooned, he or she is given a pistol with a single shot. One shot. Well it won't do much good hunting or to be rescued. But after three weeks of a starving belly and thirst, that pistol start to look real friendly. But not Jack."

"Or Keaton." I muttered. "They didn't even give me a pistol."

"He escaped from that island and he still has that one shot. Oh, but he won't use it, though, save for one man. His mutinous first mate."

"Barbossa." Faryn said.

"How did Jack get off the island?" Will was still curious. Man, it was like he wanted to know Dad's whole life story.

"Well, I'll tell ya." Gibbs began.

"We waded out into the shallows and waited there three days and three nights," I interrupted. "Until all manner of sea creatures 'came acclimated to our presence. On the fourth morning, he roped us together a couple of sea turtles, lashed 'em together and made a raft."I recited the story in monotone. That wasn't really what happened…but that's what we told everyone.

"He roped a couple of sea turtles?" Will looked astonished.

"Aye, sea turtles." Gibbs responded.

"What did he use for rope?"

"Human hair. From my back." Pleasant, Dad. Real pleasant.

"Let go of the anchor, sir. Young Mr. Turner and I are going ashore." Dad shouted to the crew. I looked up at him astonished.

"Hello? I'm going too right?" I asked, just to clarify.

"No, savvy darling?" my jaw was nearly touching the floor when he said that.

"Captain!" Gibbs called, "What if the worst should happen?"

"Keep to the code." Sorry Dad, no can do. I mean I would be overjoyed to leave Will behind, but leaving Dad was not gonna happen. Even if he wouldn't let me come with him.

"Aye, the code."

Dad and Will paddled away towards the island. I glanced back at Faryn and Mar, grinning.

"Anybody up for a swim?"

**Woop woop! 1647 words! I think that's a new record. Thanks to everyone who reviewed. **

** HAPPY HOLIDAYS PEOPLE!**

**IZ**


	9. Chapter 9

**Me: hi**

**Keaton: bye!**

**Me: don't listen to Keaton**

**Keaton: listen to Keaton**

**Me: she's just saying the opposite of what I say. Watch this. Keaton is smart**

**Keaton: Keaton is stupid- Hey! Cheater!**

**Me: thanks to all you guys who gave me reviews! I was so happy that I started jumping around the room like a headless chicken. I was actually squawking like one at one point. So thanks! I love you guys! sadly, I, theincrediblyinsaneiz, do not own PotC.**

_*previously*_

_ "Anybody up for a swim?"_

If you've never had to swim in freezing water, infested with sharks, you've never actually had something to complain about. Mar, Faryn and I were swimming to the Isla de Muerta. I admit, it was not my most ingenius plan. Every time a shark came up, we would have to punch them in between their eyes. At one point, I grabbed onto one's dorsal fin. Fortunately, it swam a lot faster than I did. Unfortunately, I couldn't breathe. When we finally surfaced, we were exhausted. Faryn and Mar were all for passing out right there. I was too. But if Barbossa caught us….I shivered at the thought. We snuck through many tunnels and turns, until we finally spotted Dad and Will. I grinned evilly.

"Anybody miss me? Oh wait, of course you missed me, I'm just too amazing not to be missed." I smirked. Faryn rolled her green eyes. Will pushed us down next to them, and glared at me. He opened his mouth to say something, but Mar shushed us quickly.

I turned to make a snide remark at her. But she just stared into my eyes with her blue-gray ones. _Look_ her eyes seemed to say. Well okay. I turned back to the hole in the cave we were using as a lookout, and nearly gasped. There standing on a pile of rubble and treasure was Barbossa and Elizabeth. Well good. Maybe she'd die and all my dreams would come true! Next to them was…a treasure chest filled with 881 pieces of Aztec gold . They were beautiful, and I wanted one.

"Every last piece that went astray, we have returned save for this." Barbossa said holding up Elizabeth's medallion for all of them to see. I was right! They were cursed! And Elizabeth held the last medallion.

"Jack!" Will shifted, causing some of the treasure to fall.

"Not yet. We wait for the opportune moment." Dad said, pulling Will back down.

"881 we found, but despaired of ever finding the last." _Oh quite whining Barbossa,_ I thought, _I was the one who had to swim with sharks!_

"When's that? When it's of great profit to you?" Will spat. Well duh. Of course. We're pirates. Will seriously needed to get that through his thick head.

"May I ask you something?" well you didn't really give him a choice there Dad. "Have I ever given you a reason not to trust me? Do us a favor. I know it's quite difficult for you, but please stay here and try not to do anything stupid." Ha! Well, Dad wasn't talking to me. And fortunately, I am very good at doing stupid things. It's one of my natural talents.

"And who among us has paid the blood sacrifice owed to the heathen gods?" Barbossa apparently likes to talk.

"US!" the crew shouted.

"And whose blood must be paid?"

"HERS!" Yes! Finally! My dream was coming true.

"You know the first thing I'm going to do after the curse is lifted?" Barbossa asked. "Eat a whole bushel of apples! Begun by blood, undone by blood!" He brandished a knife.

Unfortunately for me, I didn't get the chance to do anything stupid. Nor did I get to see Elizabeth die. All I saw was an oar, and then everything went black. Oh joy.

I woke up to a slap in the face. Fun.

"Wake up, you lazy git!" Faryn said, extending her pale hand. I looked around. We were surrounded by Barbossa's crew from all sides. Dad seemed to be conversing with them.

"You're supposed to be dead!" Pintel whined.

"Fortunately for us, were not!" I exclaimed cheerily.

"Am I not?" Dad responded to Pintel's complaint. "Oh." He had just seemed to notice we were still alive. Idiot. Even I knew that.

"Palulay? Palu-li-la-la-lulu? Parlili? Parsnip, parsley,par-partner, partner?" Dad ran through a list of 'p' words in his head.

"Parley?" Mar offered in unison with Ragetti. She glared at him.

"Parley! That's the one! Parley! Parley!" Dad rejoiced.

Pintel groaned. "Down to the depths whatever man thought up parley!" he spat.

"That would be the French." I pointed out as we were led away to Barbossa.

"How the blazes did you get off that island?" Barbossa asked, sounding like an angry child. The pain from where Will (I assumed it was Will, as he was missing) hit me in the head was beginning to sink in. Faryn and Mar were clutching their heads, nearly in tears. I guess even my pain receptors are stupid, they seemed to have a very delayed reaction. Fortunatley for me, this meant it hurt less. But I was still nearly groaning.

"When you marooned us on that godforsaken bit of land, you forgot one very important thing, mate. We're Sparrows." Hell yeah we are! Go Dad!

"Ah, well I won't be making that mistake again. Gents, you all remember Captain Jack Sparrow! Kill him! And his little friends." And then a bunch of very dangerous objects were pointed at us.

"Not good!" Faryn squeaked.

"Understatement of the century." I replied.

"The girl's blood didn't work did it?" Dad taunted Barbossa. Darn it! So they didn't end up killing Elizabeth? This day was just going from bad to worse.

"Hold your fire!" Barbossa commanded. "You know whose blood we need?"

"We know whose blood you need."

"So, you expect to leave me standing on some beach with nothing but a name and your word it's the one I need, and watch you sail away on my ship?" Barbossa inquired incrediously after Dad explained his terms.

"No." Dad answered. "I expect to leave you standing on some beach with absolutely no name at all, watching me sail away on _my_ ship, and then I'll shout the name back to you. Savvy?" I nodded in agreement with Dad's plan.

"But that still leaves us with the problem of me standing on some beach with naught but a name and your word it's the one I need." Barbossa apparently needed to plan out every single thing. I was all for just sticking with Dad's plan, and leaving him on the island to rot. I hated Barbossa.

"Of the two of us, I am the only one who hasn't committed a mutiny, therefore, my word is the one we'll be trusting. Although, I suppose I should be thanking you because, in fact, if you hadn't betrayed me and left me to die, I would have an equal share in that curse, same as you." Dad bit into an apple after his statement. "Funny ol' world in'nit?" He offered Barbossa his apple.

"Captain." Both Dad and Barbossa turned to the man who had spoken. "We're coming up on the _Interceptor._"

Dad trotted after Barbossa, I followed them with my friends.

"I'm going to kill Will." I muttered to them. Rubbing the spot where Will had smacked me with an oar.

"Let us take a whack at him too." Mar said.

"Can't let you have all the fun." Faryn pointed out. I grinned slightly, thinking of all the possible tortures we could inflict on Will.

"I'm having a thought here, Barbossa." Dad piped up. "What say we run a truce? I scurry over to the _Interceptor_ and I negotiate the return of the medallion, eh? What say you to that?"

"Now, you see Jack, that's exactly the kind of attitude that lost you the _Pearl_. People are easy to search for when they're dead. Lock him in the brig." Barbossa said to the pirate who had spoken earlier. "And his little friends too." He grinned at me, evilly. I muttered a string of curse words that would have made any pirate loose his hat as we were led to the brig. The metal hinges slammed shut.

**Ack! Done with the 9****th**** chapter! Yay! I don't know when I'll be able to update next. Hopefully before the vacation! I'm soooooooo excited!**

**HAPPY HOLIDAYS!**

**-IZ**


	10. Chapter 10

**Me: hellloooooooooooooooo !**

**Keaton: I'm going to kill you**

**Me: why?**

**Keaton: because I want to.**

**Me: Why?**

**Keaton: shut up!**

**Me: why?**

**Keaton: Agggh! Im going to beat you with the special stick!**

**Me: why?**

**Keaton: Agh! *runs away in frustration***

**Me: why?**

**Keaton: *comes back with duct tape and the special stick.**

**Me: okay. I see why now. On with the story!**

**Keaton: *duct tapes IZ's mouth shut* IZ does not own pirates of the Caribbean. She would like to thank all those who reviewed, favorite, and subscribed.**

And so, here we were in the brig. I hate the brig. The one thing I can't stand is being bored. So, as per usual I started to sing my song.

"Iiiiiiiiii'm bored bored bored bored bored bored bored! Bored bored bored bored-"

"Shut it Keaton! That's the 28th time you've sang that song!" Faryn yelled at me covering her ears. Mar was rolling around on the floor muttering about being scarred for life. That was when the world exploded.

Okay, fine. No, the world did not explode. If it did, I wouldn't be here telling you this story. More correctly there was a cannon blast, blowing us backwards. When I looked forward I saw a large hole in the wall. Poor ship, it was literally being blown apart.

"Stop blowing holes in my ship!" Dad hollered.

"Hey! Look!" Faryn said, pointing to the lock on the brig. It had been right off, luckily for us.

"Freedom is mine!" I ran out of the brig cackling. Mar looked at me like I'd lost my mind. Unfortunately for her, that happened a _looooooooong _time ago.

**P-A-G-E B-R-E-A-K**

"Jack!" Gibbs cried happily as Dad, Faryn, Mar and I swung over to the _Interceptor. _

"Hello! We're here too!" I intervened. Great. I'm back to being invisible.

"Wretch!" Elizabeth screamed at Dad while he was whining about a canteen being empty. She held up her hand to slap him.

"SLAP HIM! SLAP HIM! SLAP HIM!" Everyone stared at me. "Sorry. Just trying to lighten the mood."

Dad looked at Elizabeth, holding her wrist away from his face.

"Ah, and where's dear William?" he questioned her. Her eyes widened and her skin turned the color of a corpse.

"Will? WILL!" she panicked.

"Elizabeth!" he called from below the grate.

I rolled my eyes. I really didn't need to see the whole mushy gushy, Will drowns scene. I looked back toward the _Black Pearl. _Scampering across, was Jack the monkey, holding the medallion.

"Monkey!" Dad wailed, rushing towards it.

I narrowed my eyes. That monkey and I have a…complicated past.

"I'm going to beat up a monkey." I growled to my friends.

"Have fun!" they sang back.

"Oh I will." I muttered to myself. I rubbed my hands and nearly cackled evilly. That monkey had no idea what was coming for him.

**PAGE BREAK**

Sadly, I never got to beat up the monkey. We had lost the battle to the crew of the _Black Pearl_. Not really all that surprising considering they couldn't actually die. Plus, the _Interceptor _had been blown up. Along with Will. If we hadn't been trapped, it would have been the happiest day of my life. Wait no, scratch that. The happiest day of my life would be when Elizabeth was blown up. Now _that _would be awesome.

"If any of you as much as thinks the word 'parley' I'll have your guts for garters." Pintel told us.

"Par-" Faryn and Mar both slapped their hands over my mouth before I could finish.

That was when Will clambered up the side of the ship.

"NOOOOO! I thought you were dead!" I whined. "Would you mind if I shot you?"

"Will!" Elizabeth cried. "You've got to stop it! Stop it!"

"Welcome back Miss. You took advantage of our hospitality last time. It holds fair now that you return the favor." Barbossa grinned at Elizabeth.

"Barbossa!" Will panted, hanging onto the ropes for support.

"Will." Elizabeth whispered.

"She goes free." Will pointed a pistol at Barbossa.

"What's in your head, boy?" Barbossa smiled evilly.

"Don't shoot him you idiot! They can't die genius! And you've only got one shot!" I shouted at him.

"Yes, see! We can't die!" inputted Barbossa.

"Please don't do anything stupid." Dad pleaded. I couldn't tell if he was talking to me or Will. We both have a tendency to do stupid things.

"You can't. But I can." Will replied to Barbossa, angling the gun towards himself. See what I mean about the stupid thing.

"Like that." Dad muttered.

"I wanna shoot you! Pleasepleasepleaseplease!" I begged. Everyone stared at me.

Will looked like he was weighing his options. He tossed me the gun, and I caught it in my rope bound hands. Everyone was still staring.

"Okay then! Carry on!" I motioned for them to continue and pointed the gun at Will.

"Who are you?" Barbossa inquired Will.

"No one. He's no one. A distant cousin of my aunt's nephew twice removed. Lovely singing voice though." Dad responded quickly.

"Former blacksmith. In love with a Welch, almost as stupid as me." I concluded after Dad.

"Hey!" Will yelled indignantly.

"It's true!" I protested.

"My name is Will Turner. My father was Bootstrap Bill Turner. His blood runs in my veins."

"He's the spitting image of ol' Bootstrap come back to haunt us." Ragetti mumbled fearfully.

"On my word, do as I say, of Keaton will pull that trigger and I'll be lost to Davy Jones locker." Will threatened.

"NO! On MY word!" I shouted. "I'm the one holding the gun people!" Nobody listened to me.

"Name your terms, Mr. Turner." Barbossa granted, seemingly calm.

"Elizabeth goes free." I swear to God, if he says that one more time, I will pull this trigger whether he likes it or not.

"Yes, we know that one. Anything else?"

Dad gestured towards himself.

"And the crew! The crew are not to be harmed."

Dad kept gesturing.

"Agreed." Barbossa sealed the deal.

Poor Dad. Didn't get his ship.

**PAGE BREAK**

"Go on Poppet! Walk the plank!" Pintel laughed at Elizabeth.

"Barbossa! You lying bas-"

"Now William. We don't want the children hearing that kind of talk do we?" Dad scolded Will.

"You swore she'd go free!" Will complained.

"Oh stop whining! Good riddance I say!" I interrupted. Faryn and Mar nodded. Finally, people who agree with me!

"Don't you dare impugn my honor boy. I agreed she'd go free, but it was you who failed to specify when of where." Barbossa grinned.

"You don't need us to impugn your honor." I muttered.

"Understatement of the century." Mar stated.

"No kidding." Faryn agreed. Barbossa continued talking.

"Though it does seem a shame to lose something so fine, don't it lads?"

"Aye!" the crew hollered.

"Well no, not really. She's posh, pampered and prissy." I mumbled.

"Not to mention extremely annoying." Mar added.

"You know, I think she's almost as annoying as you, Keaton!" Faryn stated, thoughtfully.

"I feel so loved." I responded.

"So, I'll be having the dress back before you go." Barbossa continued. Even I snorted at that.

"I always liked you." Dad said to Barbossa. Yeah Dad, cause you certainly haven't been saving that one shot for him all these years.

"It goes with your black heart." Elizabeth chucked the dress back to Barbossa. I was glad I never wore anything fancy. My oversize tunic, baggy trousers and leather boots suited me just fine.

"Ooooooh! It's still warm!" Barbossa pressed the fabric against his face, and then threw it back to the crew.

"Of you go! Come on!" one pirate

"Too long!" another one bellowed, stamping his foot on the plank.

Man, I would not want to be in a dark alley with that guy. Elizabeth lost her balance and plunged into the water. I laughed. Finally! She was gone! That was before I saw who was being pushed onto the plank next.

"DAD!" I shouted, trashing, punching, and kicking at the pirates holding me.

Barbossa grinned and tossed Dad's effects into the sea. I struggled, finally freeing myself from the _Black Pearl's _crew. Faryn and Mar soon followed, and leapt over the edge of the boat. I heard them splash into the sea. I climbed up on the mast. The crew started to rush towards me.

"Don't!" Barbossa commanded to his crew, smiling. "Let the little girl die with her father!"

I laughed. Barbossa would be seeing us again. Us Sparrows always manage to get out of tight situations.

"You will always remember today as the day you _almost _caught the Great Keaton Sparrow! Hasta lavista suckers!"

And with that, I tumbled towards the water below me.

**YAY! I'm done with the 10****th**** chapter! I don't know how long it's going to be before the next update because it's VACATION! WHOOP WHOOP!**

**Thing to do over vacation:**

**YELL AT A RANDOM STRANGER, SAYING THEY STOLE YOUR ICE CREAM.**

**DUMP YOUR SODA ON YOUR LEAST FAVORITE SIBLING**

**AND FINGERPAINT ON A CAT**

**Things to remember:**

**VODOO BARBIE DOLLS ARE TAKING OVER THE WORLD!**

**HAPPY HOLIDAYS MY YOUNG EARTHLINGS!**

**IZ**


	11. Chapter 11

**Keaton: Hahahahaha! I am officially in control! Soon I shall take over the world.**

**Me: by hijacking my fanfiction?**

**Keaton: shut it. *ties IZ to a chair, then duct tapes IZ's mouth***

**Ok, so IZ does not own PotC. She is incredibly sad about this. But she has…plans…..**

**TO THE STORY!**

Thankfully, Mar, Faryn and I didn't have to punch anymore sharks. Sadly, our hands were bound, so it was a heck of a lot harder to swim. When we finally reached the island, we passed out in the sand, the water still lapping at our feet.

I woke up to the smell of smoke.

"No! Not good! Not good! What are you doing? You burned all the food, the shade! The rum!"

"NOOOOOOOO!" I screamed. "I can't live without the rum!"

I crumpled to the sand, rolling around like a dog. I moaned. The rum was GONE!

"Shut up Keaton! And give me your knife, we need to cut these ropes!" Mar ordered.

"Yes, the rum is gone." Elizabeth answered in a satisfied tone.

"Why is the rum gone?" Dad and I wailed in unison. Elizabeth spun towards Dad.

"One, because it is a vile drink that turns even the most respectable men into complete scoundrels. Two, that signal is over a thousand feet high. The entire Royal Navy is out looking for me, do you really think that there is even the slightest chance that they won't see it?" Elizabeth reasoned.

"But why is the rum gone?" Dad nearly whispered.

"It's gone…." I whimpered. "All gone…"

"You just wait Captain Jack Sparrow. You give it an hour, maybe two. Keep a whether eye out and you'll see white sails on the horizon." Elizabeth sat in the sand.

And so that was how we ended up on the _Dauntless._ Oh joy.

"But we've got to save Will!" Elizabeth protested. Incredibly, Dad, Faryn, Mar and I hadn't been locked up…yet.

"Oh just leave the bloody Welch to die! I had voted for you to be killed too, but nobody agreed with me." I told Elizabeth. She glared daggers at me. I wish I could stick _my _dagger in her preppy little face. Everyone else ignored me.

"No. You're safe now. We will return to Port Royal immediately, not go gallivanting after pirates!" Old Lady Hair said, also known as Governor Swann.

"Then we condemn him to death."Elizabeth spat scathingly.

"Yes! Goodbye Will, the annoying mad blacksmith with a ponytail!" Everyone stared at me. "Uh…May the idiot rest in peace." I added.

"The boy's fate is regrettable, but then so was his decision to join piracy."Old Lady Hair concluded.

"To rescue me! To prevent anything from happening to me!"Elizabeth yelled, nearly crying.

"Why he wanted to rescue you, I have no idea. I actually think everyone would be better off if you'd just died, but unfortunately it didn't work out that way." I added my opinion. The Navy shot me dirty looks. Mar and Faryn nodded.

"If I may be so bold as to inject my professional opinion, the _Pearl _was listing near to scuppers after the battle. It's unlikely that she'll be able to make good time. Think about it. The _Black Pearl. _The last real pirate threat in the Caribbean, mate. How can you pass that up?" I snorted at Dad's antics. He just wanted his bloody old ship back.

"By remembering that I serve others, Mr. Sparrow, not only myself." Norrington responded.

"Commodore, I beg you, please do this! For me! As a wedding gift." Elizabeth offered.

"What's the point in saving him then? If you marry the stupid wig man, it'll break the idiotic Welch's heart, and then he'll be as good as dead!" I told Elizabeth.

"Elizabeth! Are you accepting the Commodore's proposal?" Old Lady Hair sounded astonished.

"I-I am." Elizabeth responded shakily.

"A wedding! I love weddings! Drinks all around!" Dad shouted joyously. Did he really think we were going to be invited to the wedding? I mean, all we did was scam, lie, betray, and steal. Maybe they'd cut us some slack. He sighed. "I know. Clamp 'im in irons, right?"

"Mr. Sparrow. You will accompany these fine men to the helm and provide us with the bearing to the Isla de Muerta. You will spend the rest of the voyage contemplating all possible meanings of the phrase 'silent as the grave'. Do I make myself clear?" the Commodore inquired.

"Inescapably clear." Dad responded.

"Nope. Not at all." I replied.

**PAGEBREAK**

"I don't care for the situation. Any attempt to storm the caves could be an ambush." Norrington argued.

"Not if you're the one doing the ambushing. I go in. I convince Barbossa to send his men out with their little boats. You and your mates return to the _Dauntless_ and blast the bejesus outta them with your little cannons, eh? What do you have to lose?" said Dad.

"Uh…..his fiancé, his ship, his crew, his title, his honor and dignity." Faryn counted off her fingers. I snorted.

"If only he had any dignity." I responded. Mar and Faryn nodded in agreement.

"Don't push it young lady." Norrington snarled, shooting me a dirty look.

"Now, to be quite honest with you, there's still a slight risk for those aboard the _Dauntless_, which includes the future Mrs. Commodore." Dad smiled slyly at Norrington.

**PAGEBREAK**

"I must admit, Jack, I thought I had ye figured. But it turns out you're a hard man to predict." Barbossa told Dad. We were back on the Isla de Muerta. Dad and I had rowed over in a boat, while Mar and Faryn stayed on the _Dauntless._

"Me? I'm dishonest." Yes, Dad. You are the living definition of _dishonest._ " And a dishonest man you can always trust to be dishonest." Very true Dad, very true. "Honestly." I rolled my eyes at that one. "It's the honest one's you have to watch out for, because you can never predict when they're going to do something incredibly stupid."

Actually, that's untrue, because I am completely dishonest, and I still manage to do incredibly stupid things on a daily basis. Back to the story.

Dad snatched a sword off one of Barbossa's men and chucked it to Will. He then grabbed his own sword and swung at Barbossa.

"You're off the edge of the map, mate. Here there be monsters!" Barbossa shouted grinning evilly.

Suddenly, a dagger went whizzing past my head. I glared at the pirate who threw it at me.

"You better run, Beardy! I'm gonna squewer you!" I yelled at the pirate who's long beard was smoking.

That was all before he pulled out the largest barrel gun I had ever seen and pointed it at my head.

"Or, you know, it could go the other way." I said weakly. "I could run from you…uh oh!"

And with that I took off at top speed, running around the cave like a headless chicken while Beardy chased after me.

"HOOOOOLLLY MAAANNNGOES!" I screamed as I ran. "I'M GONNA DIE! ACK!"

While focusing on dodging the bullets, I had somehow managed to run straight into the cave wall. I moaned, clutching my head. I looked up, prepared to be looking down the center of the barrel gun. Instead, I saw Elizabeth…beating up Beardy.

"You want pain?" She shouted. On the contrary, I was actually quite fine with no pain at all. Then I realized she wasn't talking to me. "Try wearing a corset." She spat at Beardy.

And then I almost died again. This seems to be a reaccuring theme doesn't it? Another one of Barbossa's men had tried to stab me. I paraded with him until we reached a beam of moonlight. When he stepped into it, he lost flesh and his body became bone. The curse was real, and I was seeing it in action. I was battling a _real, live, skeleton._

"AWESOME!" I shouted, grinning madly.

He looked confused for a second. I took the time to quickly stab my sword into his rotting stomach area. It was disgusting. But still incredibly awesome. He tumbled into the water, sinking because of the sword in his midsection. He glared at me from underwater, and shot me a rude gesture. Stupid immortality. If it wasn't for that, he would be dead and the world would be rid of him and his insulting movements.

And then suddenly, there was complete and utter silence. Dad had his pistol aimed at Barbossa, Barbossa had his pointed towards Elizabeth, and Will was standing over the chest of coins.

"Am I the only one who's actions will not shift the balance of scales right now?" I asked.

Barbossa glared at me and took out another pistol, this time aiming it at my chest.

"Oh. Okay then. I understand the situation."I affirmed.

_BANG!_

"Am I dead?" I asked no one in particular. "If I'm not dead, then is Elizabeth dead? Please tell me she's dead."

The gun smoke cleared. Dad had fired his shot at Barbossa.

"Ten years you carry that pistol, and now you waste your shot." contemplated Barbossa

"He didn't waste it!" Our heads swiveled in sync to Will. He dropped the last two medallions into the chest, Dad's and his. Both glimmered with blood as they fell and then landed in the chest.

Barbossa dropped his sword, his eyes wide. He pulled at his shirt, watching as the rosettes of blood spread from where Dad's bullet had punctured him.

"I feel…cold." he said.

"Good for you, Barbossa. Have fun in Davy Jones Locker!" I waved cheerily. The curse was officially gone.

Finally, some good luck for me, for once. I could get used to that.

**Yay! 11****th**** chapter is done! Whooo hooo! Sorry I haven't updated in a while. Vacation makes me lazy. I'm skiing! **

**Skiing is the best thing since sliced bread. I am not kidding you. Unfortunately, there isn't a lot of snow, so there are only like 2 runs open. Please pray to the snow gods for me. Tell them to send us a 10ft dump of powder.**

**Anyways, hope you all had a GREAT Christmas, Hanukah, whatever your religion celebrates. If it includes gifts, I hope you got good ones!**

**So, HAPPY REST OF VACATION!**

**To do this vacation:**

**POKE STRANGERS WITH A STICK AND THEN SAY YOUR IMAGINARY FRIEND DID IT**

**SLAP A CHICKEN (the real kind or the wimpy kind, either works really)**

**BITE A SOCK **

**Later people**

**IZ**


	12. Chapter 12

**Oh my gods. Guys I am so amazingly sorry for not updating! I just got back into school and then there's homework and dance and skiing….so I've just been busy. I am so so so times 100 sorry. Besides, I think this is the last chapter of the first movie!**

**Keaton: I don't wanna say it!**

**Me: Just say it!**

**Keaton: No! Make Iggy do it! *Iggy from Maximum Ride appears***

**Iggy: why am I here?**

**Me: To say the disclaimer!**

**Iggy: Nooooooooo!**

**Me: you want me to get out the sword? *Percy Jackson from Percy Jackson appears***

**Percy: No! Riptide what has she done to you?**

**Me: *cackles evilly* **

**Keaton, Iggy and Percy: IZ does not own PotC! On with the story!**

The next hour of my life was pure heaven. I danced around the damp cave burying myself in treasure.

"Treasure! All mine!" I shrieked gleefully.

Will stared at me like I was a psychopath. So, I stuck my tongue out at him. I know, I'm so mature right?

"We should return to the _Dauntless._" I heard Elizabeth murmur to Will.

"Your fiancé will be wanting to know you're safe." he replied. Elizabeth let out a little sigh and walked away.

Dad swaggered over to Will, a golden crown sitting crooked on his head and heaps off necklaces hanging from his neck.

"If you were waiting for the opportune moment," Dad said. "That was it."

I snorted. "Hell yeah it was! But who cares? We're rich!" I cried, throwing myself at a pile of treasure.

Let's just say, it was not the best idea.

"Now," Dad continued, "If you'll be so kind, I'd be very much obliged if you'd drop me off my ship."

Happy ending! No. Pirates don't have happy endings.

The crew had hijacked the _Pearl. _When I found this out I let out a string of cuss words in multiple languages, to which Elizabeth nearly slapped me.

"I'm sorry, Jack." Elizabeth apologized. As we rowed along in our little boat,

"If I wanted your sympathy I would have asked for it." I muttered darkly.

"They done what's right by them. Can't expect more than that." Dad closed his eyes and I looked down at the water.

Sharks. _I should just jump over the edge _I thought to myself. _No point in living now._

Because Dad and I both knew what awaited us in Port Royal.

**P-a-g-e-b-r-e-a-k**

I, Keaton Sparrow had always promised myself that I would go out with a bang. The gallows were not my definition of a bang.

"Jack and Keaton Sparrow, be it known that you have…" The announcer's voice droned.

"Captain, Captain Jack Sparrow." Dad grumbled. He would never give that up, would he?

"…For your willful commission of crimes against the crown. Said crimes being numerous in quantity and sinister in nature, the most egregious of these to be cited herewith piracy, smuggling, impersonating an officer of the Spanish Royal Navy, impersonating a cleric of the Church of England,…"

I started laughing hysterically as I thought of that time, while Dad grinned. The executioner glared and the people of Port Royal stared at me like I was insane. They really should have learned by now that I've been on the verge of insanity for a while. Then I heard a squawk. I glanced up. Cotton's parrot was resting on a flag. Something was going on.

"…sailing under false colours, arson, kidnapping, looting, poaching, brigandage, pilfering, depravity, depredation and general lawlessness…"

Wow. I never knew we had committed so many crimes! I'm impressed.

"…And for these crimes, you have been sentenced to be, on this day, hung by the neck until dead. May God have mercy on your soul."

"Well! I must say I am very honored that so many of you came out today to see us die. It makes me feel extremely special that so many people –"

I was cut off as the executioner kicked me in the shin and prepared to pull the lever that would end my life.

"MOVE!" I heard Will bellow from somewhere in the crowd.

"Oh great." I muttered. "It's the idiot that's coming to the rescue. We're never gonna get out of this alive."

Two swords whizzed through the air and implanted themselves right bellow Dad's feet and my own. When the executioner pulled the lever, Dad and I dropped. The swords were supposed to work as a sort of foothold to keep us from chocking. Unfortunately, Will overestimated my height.

"Little…help…here!" I rasped out, not able to reach the sword with my feet.

Suddenly, the noose was cut and I could breathe again.

"Thanks." I managed to rasp out to Will.

"Run." was his only response.

So, I ran. Will, Dad and I fought like a team, raking down every single one of Norrington's men. Or so I thought. We had reached the tower where Elizabeth had fallen from, a week or two before. It seemed like so long ago.

"I thought we might have to endure some manner of ill conceived escape attempt, but not from you." Norrington stated to Will.

We were surrounded on all sides, bayonets pointed at every single organ in our bodies. Fun.

"On our return to Port Royal, I granted you clemency. And this is how you thank me? By throwing in your lot with him? He's a pirate!" Old Lady Hair spat at Will.

"And a good man!" Will retorted. A good man? Since when was Dad ever a good man? Apparently though, Dad seemed to think what Will said was true because he mouthed 'That's me!' and pointed to himself.

"And his daughter is…quite the character." I grinned at that. "Although extremely annoying." Will muttered to himself. I opened my mouth to spit out a sarcastic comment but was beaten by Will.

"If all I have achieved here is that the hangman will earn three pairs of boots instead of two, then so be it. At least my conscience will be clear."

"You forget your place, Turner." Norrington warned.

"It's right here. Between you and Jack." I glared daggers at him. "And Keaton." He added hastily.

Elizabeth swept in beside Will. Her stupid dress was blocking my view.

"As is mine." She stated.

"Elizabeth!" Old Lady Hair cried. "Lower your weapons! For goodness sake, put them down."

"So. This is where your heart truly lies, then?" Norrington said, holding back tears.

"It is." Elizabeth assured.

"Well!" Dad said, noticing Cotton's parrot. "I'm feeling rather good about this." He sauntered up to Old Lady Hair. "I think we've all arrived at a very special place, eh? Spiritually? Ecumenically? Grammatically?" Old Lady Hair turned away, disgusted.

Dad then turned to Norrington. "I want you to know that I was rooting for you, mate. Know that."

He then addressed Elizabeth. "Elizabeth, it would never have worked between us, darling. I'm sorry."

Dad looked at Will. Just before we thought he was going to make some deep, physiological comment of the universe he said:

"Will…Nice hat." That's Dad for you.

"Friends!" he continued. "This is the day you will always remember as the day that-"Dad tripped over the edge of the wall and fell towards the water. I rolled my eyes. Idiot.

"Well! I guess it's my turn then! Wig people…no comment. Just…no. Norrington, you suck. Old Lady Hair- I mean Governor Swann, loose the wig. Elizabeth, I hate you to the depths of my soul. Will, your hat is extremely ugly."

I clapped my hands.

"Today will be the day you always remember as the day you almost caught Captain Jack Sparrow and the Great Keaton Sparrow. Goodbye!" With that, I leaped off the edge of the battlements.

**Epilogue. Well sorta.**

"I thought you were supposed to keep to the code." Dad said to Gibbs as we were hauled aboard the _Black Pearl._

"We figured they were more actual guide lines." Gibbs responded.

Cotton handed Dad his hat and Dad thanked him. I punched my friends lightly and then hugged them.

"If you ever take the ship again, please warn me first. I would love to play a prank like that on Dad." I told them.

"Captain Sparrow." Anamaria addressed Dad. Man. I was really hoping she'd slap him. "The _Black Pearl _is yours." She draped his coat over his shoulders.

Dad paused for a moment.

"On deck you scabrous dogs! Man the braces! Let down the haul to run free." Good ol' Dad.

I turned to my friends.

"Are you staying?" I asked hopefully.

"No. I have to go back to Tortuga to take care of my brother." Faryn sighed. I frowned.

"Yeah. Sorry Keaton, I have to go too. Jam will literally ruin the house if I don't get back to her." Mar said.

Quick explanation. Mar has a twin sister named Jam. Really ironic. Actually, Marmalade and Jam aren't their real names. Nobody actually knows what their real names are, and we probably never will.

"Well, I'll see you soon." I sighed sadly. They walked away, leaving me to my thoughts.

That was until a wet hand grabbed my wrist. I whirled around, drawing my sword and pointing it at the person's throat.

"Who are you?" I demanded. "Well? Speak!"

"Don't you recognize me Keaton?" The boy asked playfully.

He raised his head and met my eyes. I gasped and narrowed my eyes. It was my mortal enemy, the person I hated most.

"You."

**Ahhhhhhhhh! I'm done with the first movie! Sorry, I couldn't resist doing a cliffhanger.**

**I don't know when I'm gonna do the second movie. Depends on how many reviews I get. Hopefully a lot!**

**Thank you to all who reviewed the last chapter!**

**Especially **Unraveling-The-Mystery! You're criticism helped me tons and it was greatly appreciated! So thanks!

**Alrighty then! Oh, does anyone have any ideas for what I should call the sequel? **

**Thanks!**

**To do this weekend:**

**GO UP TO ANYONE WHO LOOKS LIKE HARRY POTTER AND YELL: "I am Moldywart! I shall kill you now!"**

**PREFORM A VODOO RITUAL ON A STUFFED TEDDY BEAR**

**START LAUGHING AT RANDOM INTERVALS AND THEN SAY : "That's not funny."**Ω


	13. Chapter 13

**Me: Hola people! I decided to just go through the first three movies in the same fic and then if I do the 4****th**** movie, I'll start a new one! So! Onto the Dead Man's Chest.**

**Keaton: IZ does not own PotC. If she did…I shiver at the thought.**

**Me: Mwahahahaha!**

_*previously*_

_ "Don't you recognize me Keaton?" the boy asked playfully._

_ He raised his head and met my eyes. I gasped and narrowed my eyes. It was my mortal enemy, the person I hated the most._

_ "You."_

We had been waiting for Dad for what seemed like hours. And I was stuck with _him. _It was freezing and the fog made it hard to see. Plus Gibbs kept singing a song about rum. I mean, I really truly love rum, but I could not stand Gibbs's song.

"Gibbs!" I finally screamed. "Shut the hell up or I swear I will skewer you like a pig!"

Ok. So my analogy wasn't amazing. But it still worked.

"Hmm, becoming violent are we, Keaton." _He _said.

"I'm always violent. Get used to it, dimwit." I responded, stalking away.

Finally, after four torturously long hours, Dad clambered aboard the _Black Pearl, _handing Gibbs a leg pulled off from a skeleton.

"Not quite according to plan." Gibbs said, chucking the leg bone away.

"Complications arose, ensued, we were overcome." Dad explained.

"Did you get what you went in for then?" Gibbs asked.

"Mm hmm." Dad confirmed with a nod, showing us a rolled up piece of cloth.

"A rag." I clarified.

"Captain, I think the crew, meaning me as well, were expecting something a bit more…_shiny._ What with the Isla de Muerta going all pear shaped, reclaimed by the sea, and the treasure with it." Gibbs told Dad.

"And the Royal Navy chasing us all around the Atlantic." Leech, another crew member moaned.

"And the hurricane!" Another yelled.

"Aye!" the crew shouted.

"All in all, it seems some time since we did a speck of honest pirating." Gibbs admitted.

"Why do they call it honest pirating any way? I mean seriously. The words _pirate _and _honest _do not belong in the same sentence." I reasoned.

"Shiny." Dad thought aloud, ignoring me as per usual.

"Aye. Shiny." Gibbs responded.

"Is that how you're all feeling then? Perhaps dear, ol' Jack is not serving your best interests as captain?" No one dared make a sound. Except me, of course.

"Actually-"

I was cut off when _he _covered my mouth with his hand. So I did the only reasonable thing. I bit him. _Hard._ People whom I've bitten before tell me that I have quite the fangs. I hoped they would do their job this time.

_He _yanked his hand away from my mouth with a strangled cry. I grinned triumphantly while _he _glared. Keaton: 1, _him_: 0.

"Aye! Walk the plank!" Cotton's parrot squawked at Dad.

"What did the bird say?" Dad shouted, pulling out his pistol and aiming it at the brilliantly colored bird.

"Shoot it! Shoot it! Shoot it!" I chanted. Let's just say that the bird and I aren't exactly the best of friends. It had something to do with me trying to shoot it, blah, blah, blah. I missed anyways, but the bird hates me.

"Do not blame the bird. Show us what is on that piece of cloth there." Leech told Dad.

Suddenly, Jack the monkey appeared out of nowhere, as he always does, and snatched the cloth out of Dad's hand.

"Oh!" Dad yelled, shooting at the monkey, but his pistol misfired. He then stole my pistol, and blasted the monkey. It dropped the piece of cloth and scampered off.

"Know that don't do no good." Gibbs said.

"Does me." Dad replied, handing me my pistol.

Marty the doll sized man picked up the cloth. "It's a key!" he exclaimed.

"No. It's much more better. It's a drawing of a key." Dad corrected.

"Do drawings of keys do something these days?" _He _inquired. For once, I had to agree with him.

"Gentlemen." I glared at Dad. "And women." He added. "What do keys do?" He sounded like he was talking to a group of little children, which I found highly appropriate.

"Keys…unlock things?" _He _said.

"No really!" I replied sarcastically. "I did not know that!"

"And whatever this key unlocks, inside there's something valuable…So we're setting out to find whatever this key unlocks?" Gibbs asked.

"No. If we don't have the key, we can't open whatever it is we don't have that it unlocks. So what purpose would be served in finding whatever need be unlocked, which we don't have, without first having found the key which unlocks it?" Thank you Dad, for confusing us thoroughly.

"So the translation is…" _He _trailed off.

"…No we need to find the key first." I continued. Sometimes I cannot believe I'm related to an idiot like Dad.

"So…we're going after this key?" Gibbs asked, still confused.

"You're not making any sense at all, mate. Any more questions?" Dad said.

Marty raised his hand. "So do we have a heading?"

I looked over Dad's shoulder as his compass spun randomly.

"Sail in a general…" Dad swiveled his finger in tune to the compass arrow.

"…That way direction." He finished, pointing randomly.

"Captain?" Gibbs sounded slightly concerned.

"Come on, snap to, make sail, you know how this works." Dad said hastily. My eyes narrowed at his retreating figure.

"Your Dad's acting weirder than usual." _He _said.

Fine. Okay, I guess I should tell you who _he _is. His name is Thomas Cortrane, and he is my mortal enemy. Well one of them anyways. His dad and my dad were friends before his dad was killed in combat. Even before that though, Tommy and I hated each other. I never knew why, but we just never got along.

"He's probably just…tired." I said defending Dad.

"Or maybe he's just going more insane. I know that happened to you a long time ago." He said.

I turned around and glared into his dark eyes. "You better watch what you say about my Dad, Cortrane. Or you'll be looking down the end of my pistol." I threatened. And so there was only one thing left to do.

Drink some rum.

**PAGE BREAK**

After I had gorged myself with rum, I lay on my hammock, not able to sleep. All the rum should have made me even sleepier, but apparently it wasn't working. I glanced around. The crew was sleeping soundly. _Maybe, _I thought, _maybe I need more rum. _Well, no. I did not actually need any more rum. In truth I had seen Dad sneak down to the hold and wanted to know what he was up to.

Curiosity killed the cat. Or pirate I guess. Whatever.

So, I slipped on my leather boots, tied my curly brown hair up in a sloppy ponytail, and snatched my sword and pistol. I slunk down the steps to the hold when I heard Dad's voice.

"Is this a dream?" I heard him ask.

I quickly rolled like a ninja (met them in Japan. You do NOT want to get on their bad side. That was an…interesting trip) across the wooden floor and hid behind a barrel of gun powder.

"No." said another voice, this time raspy.

"I thought not. If it were there'd be rum." Sorry Dad, I couldn't resist drinking it all.

"You got the _Pearl _back, I see." The raspy voice observed.

"I had some help retrieving the _Pearl _by the way…Your son." Dad said.

Wait. Son…helped retrieve the _Pearl_…raspy voice. It's sad how slow I come to realization sometimes. Dad was talking about Will. Will's father was the one and only…Bootstrap. Bootstrap Bill Turner. My life just got a whole lot weirder.

"William. So he ended up a pirate after all." Bootstrap said sounding disappointed, as if he wanted his son to escape piracy.

Why he would want that, I have no idea, because quite frankly, a pirate is the best thing anyone could ever be. Okay, so our ethics and morals are slightly screwed, but who cares? No rules, no boundaries, just the open sea.

"And what do I owe the pleasure of your carbuncle?" Dad inquired.

"He sent me."

"Who?" I whispered to myself. But apparently my definition of whispering is incorrect.

"Did you hear that?" Dad asked. Man, I seriously need to work on controlling my volume.

"Don't stall Jack. Davy Jones. He sent me." Bootstrap told Dad, not hearing me.

"Ah, so it's you then. He shanghaied you into service, eh?" Dad's voice was losing its usual chipper tone.

"I chose it. I'm sorry for the part I played in the mutiny against you, Jack. I stood up for you. Everything went wrong after that. They strapped me to a cannon. I ended up at the bottom of the ocean, the weight of the water crushing down on me. Unable to move, unable to die, Jack. I thought, even the tiniest hope of escaping this fate, I would take it. I would trade anything for it." Bootstrap said, his voice filled with sorrow and regret.

"It's funny what a man will do to forestall his final judgment." Dad said.

"You made a deal with him too, Jack. He raised the _Pearl _from the depths for you. Thirteen years you've been captain."

I couldn't believe my ears. Dad had made a deal with Davy Jones. And he hadn't told me.

"Technically-"Dad began, but was cut off by Bootstrap.

"Jack, you won't be able to talk yourself out of this. The terms that apply to me apply to you as well: one soul bound to crew one hundred years upon his ship."

"Well, the _Flying Dutchman_ already has a captain, so there's really no-"You will never learn, will you Dad.

"Then it's the locker for you! Jones's terrible leviathan will find you and drag the _Pearl _back to the depths, and you along with it."

"Any idea when Jones might release said terrible beastie?" Dad asked timidly.

"It is already upon you, Jack. The time is up. It will come, drawn with ravenous hunger to the man what bears the black spot." Thank you, Captain Sunshine for that oh-so-cheerful speech.

I scampered back up the steps so fast, that Jack the monkey would have been proud of me. I stripped myself of my weapons and boots and quickly pretended to be asleep as Dad ran out of the hold, hollering in panic. He woke us up, yelling at us to get on deck.

I scrambled up the steps, boots on feet and sword in hand.

"Run! Land!" Dad screamed as he flailed his arms uselessly in panic. He looked like a dancing, headless chicken.

"Which port?" Gibbs asked.

"I didn't say port, I said land! Any land!"

And then with a sudden screech, Jack the monkey swooped down and snatched Dad's hat and tossed it overboard.

"SAVE THE HAT!" I shouted at the top of my lungs. There could be a giant penguin chasing us, for all I cared, but for no reason was Dad leaving his hat.

"Jack's hat! Clear about!" Gibbs yelled.

"No, no! Leave it. Run!"

Now this was the scariest thing I had heard that night. Dad was willing to lose his beloved hat, just to escape whatever Davy Jones had sent upon us.

Dad scampered off and hid behind the stares.

"What's going on?" Tommy asked breathing heavily.

One of his boots was on, the other on had somehow been squewered by his sword, and his usually wavy black hair was sticking up like he'd been electrocuted. He looked grumpy and there were heavy bags under his eyes.

That was one thing we had in common. We were NOT morning people. If you tried to wake me up in the morning, you'd end up with a broken arm and a black eye. Dad learned that lesson a while ago. He hasn't come near me in the mornings since then.

"Well Cortrane, for your information, we are being chased by a large, terrible, beastie that wants to eat Dad's guts. Does that answer your question?"

That was when the true meaning of what I had said sunk in. We were going to be eaten by a horrible, wild creature.

I blinked a couple times.

"Oh _crud._"

**Ahhhh! 2056 words! This has been my longest chapter! Sadly though, it's not my best. there's not a ton of laughs in this one, but this part of the movie is a bit more serious anyways.**

**Its okay though! Will is coming in soon, and Keaton will be treating him and Tommy to her sarcastic remarks and terrible songs.**

**I don't really know why I made the character Tommy. I think he'll have more importance in the later movies, I have some plans for him. Betrayal, blah blah blah and all that jazz.**

**Anyways! Have a good week people!**

**To do this week:**

**TACKLE A SNOW MAN AND SCREAM : "die carrot face, DIE!"**

**ROLL AROUND LIKE A SECRET AGENT AND THEN PRETEND TO SHOOT ANYONE WHO ASKS YOU WHAT YOU ARE DOING**

**SHOUT OUT NUMBERS AT RANDOM INTERVALS AND LEAVE PEOPLE WONDERING WHAT YOU ARE DOING.**

**Good day to you, my minions!**

**IZ**


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